Fall from Grace

It is easy to fall from grace, especially in others eyes, but by God's grace we are saved. Let us not forget to show each other mercy.

Hosea 6:6

Gracefully Restrained Defined

Gracefully restrained refers to my walk with God. I am gracefully restrained from doing the many stupid things I did before I choose to walk with him.

The Long Road Ahead

As I walk along this new chosen path, I ponder about what I have left behind. Do my friends not understand me or have I tried to be something I am not and so deceived myself, my family and my friends? I walk a lonely path of uncertainty. I have a friend that is trying to console me. He is my mate, chosen by me to venture out on this new path. Have I chosen wisely or in haste? I am still saddened by the reactions of my loved ones as I venture on a new path to find myself. May they one day understand that I must walk this path however hard it may be. There is a time in every ones life where they must decide to choose to live for others or to truly learn to love and know themselves so they can love others once again. I must find it for myself or life will become meaningless again.

Light vs. Darkness

There is a stirring in my being. There is a constant battle for control. Like is says in Ephesians 6:12 " For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." I recently came face to face with some of my past sins (like lack of trust and unforgiveness) and it has affected my current relationship. I need to remember that God is in control and not I. I will need to re-evaluate my current state of affairs.

Today

Although today is a new day it feels like many previous days.

As I grow older, I reflect on my life.

I can not help but wonder where the time has gone.

Have I spent to much time and energy on things that do not matter?

Is it time to re-invent myself?

Create a new beginning.

Start a fresh approach to life?

Shed the old for something new?

As I try as I may to look to the future, 

I still must concentrate on taking care of the present.

Life can be daunting, and somewhat disappointing,

but there is always time to change.

I think my time is now!

My Love is Elusive

My Love Is Elusive

My love is elusive for I have never held you, 

So what can I say?

If I told you tomorrow that I loved you, what would you say?

Would you stutter and run away,

Or would you be stunned

And have nothing to say.

If you told me you loved me, 

I do not know what I would say,

For my heart would be full of flutter and dismay,

For I love you more than I can say.

Do not take my silence as lack thereof,

But know you carry a special place in my heart That is there to stay.

© Mary F. Lankford and Gracefully Restrained, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Mary F. Lankford and Gracefully Restrained with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

War and What it Leaves Behind

I will explain why I share this video.

As my mother lies in the hospital possibly losing the battle for her life, I am having to go through her possessions to sort through her life.

While going through her possessions I came across 3 arm bands, 2 copper and 1 made of silver metal with the names of 3 servicemen and dates.

I called my dad to ask what they were, he told me they were names of veterans and the dates they went missing in Vietnam. Both my father and my uncle served in Vietnam. It could as well have been them, so when I look at the homeless men out there I try to remember this could have been someone I was close too and that is why this issue is close to my heart.

A New Day

It is a new day in a new year.

Hopefully 2015 will be full of more victories than defeats.

In response to life, it is fleeting but inconsistent, because it seems to be full of irony more than anything else.

I find myself in situations that I can not blame anyone else for, but myself, because of the chooses I have made.

Choose number 1: To be the primary care giver to my ailing mother. It is heart wrenching to watch  someone very close to you fight to remain here on earth, and possibly loosing the battle.

Choose number 2: To remain with someone just because I do not want to break his heart. A man who I have been in love with comes back into my life after a few years, but I am currently with someone else who I love, but I am not in love with.

It seems that anytime I have the money to do things, I am in a situation that does not allow me to do it, or I do not have the money and all of a sudden I have more time that I know what to do with. This has to do with a retrospect of looking backwards at my life. (I know this is totally random, but it is just how I feel.)

Like I said, today is a new day. First step: Change the things I am doing to create new and better outcomes. Maybe I will incorporate old and new ways of relieving stress and the feeling of burdens:

1. Rely of God again.
2. Exercise more outside.
3. Learn to meditate.
4. Eat more healthy food.
5. Blog my feelings instead of keeping them to myself.
6. Share more of myself with my loved ones.
7. Maybe even break down and give the one I am in love with a hint of how I feel about him. Maybe not.

Happy New Year!

It is New Year's Eve 2014 and I am still discovering who I am. Life is always full of surprises, especially when you think you have an idea of how you would react in certain situations, and then find yourself reacting completely different.

I never would have guessed I could handle some of the many things in my life I was forced to face in 2014.

It has been a difficult but somewhat rewarding year. 

May we all learn from our mistakes and learn to be better, more loving people in 2015.

Happy New Year Everyone!